From its inception in 2007 to 2019, Drive and Dish maintained a tradition of publishing its writers' hand written NCAA Tournament brackets on the morning of the Tournament's opening day.
Last year, in light of COVID-19 health concerns, the Drive and Dish Board of Directors made the health related decision to relax some of its stringent guidelines for filling out NCAA Tournament brackets. For the first time in our history, we gave our writers the option of submitting an electronic, non-paper and non- handwritten bracket.
The result was that 50% of our published were electronic and not hand written, while the other 50% were done in traditional Drive and Dish fashion--hand written and submitted on dog eared paper.
This year, Drive and Dish has implemented an ironclad vaccine mandate: all Drive and Dish contributors, regardless of whether or not they physically work in the Drive and Dish headquarters -- contributors who work from home and only submit content online must comply as well -- are required to submit proof of full COVID-19 vaccination, which includes having received both booster shots.
Additionally, all Drive and Dish contributors must submit a record of all other vaccinations and proof that they've received this season's flu shots.
We also require all contributors to wear N95 masks covered by cloth surgical masks -- double masking -- when writing and submitting their contributions to this website, regardless of whether they appear in person at the Drive and Dish headquarters, or whether they write remotely from home and submit their work electronically.
Anyone who fails to comply with the Drive and Dish COVID-19 health guidelines will be suspended from Drive and Dish indefinitely and prohibited from contributing to Drive and Dish during their suspension.
We have also extended our relaxed guidelines for submitting NCAA Tournament brackets for another year. Thus Drive and Dish contributors who are eligible to post brackets have the choice of whether to submit paper, handwritten brackets or whether to submit electronic brackets.
Unfortunately, due to our contributors' widespread lack of compliance with the Drive and Dish COVID-19 health guidelines, no Drive and Dish contributors are eligible to submit and publish brackets this year.
Thus, Drive and Dish has been forced to submit an Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) generated bracket for 2022 -- a historic first for this blog.
We've gone to great lengths, however, to ensure that the Artificial Intelligence algorithms accurately replicate the thought processes of Drive and Dish publisher "S.K." The A.I. software has learned all that there is to know about the way "S.K." thinks, writes, and acts. It's recorded and analyzed hundreds of hours worth of data from EEG tests that monitored "S.K.'s" brainwaves -- from the beta waves present during daily activity to the theta waves present during his sleep. Ss a result, the A.I. has accurately modeled everything about "S.K." -- from his overtly stated preferences to his unconscious, pattern recognition based biases.
The result is a virtual Drive and Dish 2022 NCAA Tournament bracket that completely replicates not only the preferences of the Drive and Dish braintrust (which has been reduced to just "S.K." these days), but the tone, tenor and overall "ZFG" attitude that this blog has employed through the years.
Without further ado, we present the 2022 edition of the Drive and Dish NCAA Tournament bracket (BTW, Happy St. Patrick's Day):
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2 comments:
dude, i cant believe you picked against the illini. wtf!?! you guys have always hated us. but jfc, how do you take chattaanooggaa over the illini!?!
you can go and shove your heads up coach k's ass.......oh, i forgot. your heads are already up k's ass. been there for like 10 years.
i think trent and kofi are gonna go off and were gonna make it all the way to the final 4.
you asshats can jump in lake michigan. happy st. paddy's day!!!!
ILL.....INI!!!!!!
Oskee Wow Wow!!!!
GO ILLINI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy effin sheeit. We totally pissed the bed last night against Chattanooga State. I was watching at the cubby bear. Iowa sqawkeye fans were all over the place giving us crap all night. I’m like, dude, I get it. We suck tonight, but your Sqawks still got knocked out in the first round too. So like, go eat a bag of dicks.
But I as the game went on, and we kept getting pounded by Chattanooga State, I grew more and more despondent. And so I kept drinking. And drinking. And drinking. I mean, my Illini are getting knocked out of the tournament early for the 2nd year in a row. We’re playing like elephant dung all night and I’m gonna hear it all week long from Iowa fans and Michigan fans and Indiana Loosier fans at work. So I said screw it. I’m just getting my drinky on like nothing else matters. Long story short…..I got so shit face drunk that I’m puking out everything but the lining in my stomach and hugging a dirty toilet in the cubby bear bathroom like my life depends on it. I black out and don’t remember anything else until I woke up this afternoon at about a quarter past noon.
Then I find out that the Illini actually pulled out a 1 point win in the last second of the game after all, but I was passed out in the cubby bear bathroom when it happened, so I had no idea.
Go Illini!!!!
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