Kentucky Falls to Gardner Freakin' Webb

By Trashtalk Superstar

Welcome to Kentucky, Billy Gillispie. Your predecessor, Tubby Smith, was chased out of town after a successful ten year run which included two Final Fours and a national championship. But it wasn't good enough for the crazed UK fans. They expected so much more from their beloved Wildcats. Which is why you now hold one of the most prestigious positions in sports ... head coach of men's basketball at the University of Kentucky.

And the Kentucky faithful treated your arrival as if it were a the fulfillment of prophecy ... a savior would come to lead his people to their rightful glory. You were Billy G. as Messiah or Mahdi. Kentucky fans spoke of you as if you could walk on water and turn water into wine (and hell, everybody knows how much you love to drink). Yes Billy, you were supposed to lead Kentucky to the promised land. Because to the devoted followers of UK basketball, you were the freakin' man.

That is, until tonight, when Kentucky was blown out by uber cupcake Gardner Webb.

Two games into your tenure and Kentucky has already suffered a loss as humiliating as Michigan's football defeat to Appalachian State in this year's season opener. Gardner Webb should write you a check because, by losing to them tonight, you will have given them more media exposure than they've probably ever had. Everyone who watches Sports Center or reads the sports section of their daily newspaper will now have heard of tiny Gardner Webb (enrollment: 4,000). And many of those same people will laugh at Kentucky's expense.

You'll be on the hot seat before you know what hit you.

At least Kentucky fans have a good football team to cheer for this year, even if it is the first good Kentucky football team that most fans have seen in their lifetimes. Hell, if you don't get things going quickly, Billy Boy, Kentucky might get a reputation as a "football school."

Then Ashley Judd will be forced to start going to football games. The TV close ups of her won't be as good as they are at basketball games, but exposure is exposure. And it's not like she's just there to watch the games and root for her team.

You better get everything straightened out soon, Billy. If you don't, Wildcat nation might even start longing for the good ol' days of the Tubby era.

Welcome to Kentucky, Billy G. Welcome indeed.