Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A Hard Sell: Who Needs Two?



By Mark Buckets

It’s been a difficult week - and month - for ticket brokers in and around the Detroit metropolitan area.

As Joanne C. Gerstner of The Detroit News says, it’s certainly been a buyer’s market for fans looking to attend the Midwest Regional at Ford Field Friday and Sunday.

At first glance, these brokers were licking their chops at an opportunity to gobble up hundreds upon hundred of tickets to this week’s Midwest Regional at Ford Field.

The reason?

Michigan State (Michigan’s only true college basketball program at the moment) was expected to earn a seed high enough to play their way into the Midwest Regional.

After a year in which the Spartans were as up and down as an amusement park roller coaster, Michigan State ended up peaking at - depending upon whom you ask - the right time.

For those with Midwest Regional tickets expecting to see the Spartans, it was too little, too late.

The Spartans ended up with a five seed, and were shipped to the South Region.

To those pesky ticket brokers, this was a nightmare scenario that became a stark reality.

The four teams participating in the Ford Field Regional? None of them include Michigan State, and two of the teams - Villanova and Davidson - are mum on sales of their allotment of 1,250 tickets.

Drive & Dish is in negotiations with Enterprise Rent-a-Car to provide a rental car for Trashtalk Superstar and Mark Buckets, enabling the duo to cover the games on Friday and Sunday.

As of Wednesday Afternoon, representatives of the rental car giant have yet to deliver a response.

We'll keep you posted.



Trashtalk Superstar adds:

Wow. I didn't know that Mark Buckets was thinking about renting a car to go to Detroit. Apparently, he's in deep negotiations with Enterprise.

That's fine. But Trashtalk Superstar only travels by Gulfstream, son. Mark Buckets can rent a Festiva if he wants to; but if I can get away for those games, you best believe that I'll be big pimpin' in the G4.

9 comments:

Mark Buckets said...

Trashtalk,

Props to you for the Ford Festiva reference.

I thought I was the only one who remembered that piece of automobile history.

While you only fly Bombardier Learjets - or, for the pretty people out there, Gulfsteam’s - I prefer to promote college basketball as a whole.

I’ll stay on America’s roadways, thank you very much, riding in an NCAA-approved vehicle.

That's right, we're going to Ford Field in a......Pontiac G8!

See you on the road Friday!

Butler Bob said...

I be having a Nova. I be thinkin about doin some travelin. Me been in Cleveland five years ago to visit Ethels cuzin. I be doin lots of thinkin. Me been thinkin that I be needin to take Ethel on a romantic getway. I been workin on them yoddlin.

I thought maybe takin Ethel to northern wisconsin Green Bay to do some yoddlin for them fracky girls. I be serenadin her on them fox river. anybody be havin suggestion for me on my romantic getway with Ethel? I be walkin with Buster to be gettin them gas station for some buckets of gas.

sparco_spartan said...

yo dudes

Everyone is talking about the firing of Cal´s coach Braun here in the bay area. What do you college hoop experts think about that? I personally think it was about time. We´ll probably end up stuck with him. That´ll be like a never ending ice-cream headache Dude.

I was also wonderin what your suggestion is on creating a successful bracket?

Peace

Anonymous said...

Jay: I feel bad for ya, son. I gotz 99 problems, but a beotch ain't one.

Hell yeah, snoogins!

Me and Silent Bob are goin' to Detroit too, bro. We're tryin' to get there so we can go to a party at the mayor's crib, homes. We heard that the mayor of Detroit be havin' coke fueled orgies up in his crib.

So me and Silent Bob decided that we gotz to check that shit out, dude.

Silent Bob:

Jay: Hell yeah, Silent Bob. Why didn't I think of that? You're so fu**in smart, dude.

Silent Bob said we should go to the NCAA Tournament games and stand outside of the arena so that we can sell weed to the college students, yo.

And maybe we can even sell weed to the players. I know Kansas players gotz ta be smokers, dude. Just look at 'em, homeslice. I know Sherron Collins and Brandon Rush be smokin' up mad chronic, ya digg.

Silent Bob:

Jay: Yo, that shitz right, Silent Bob. Silent Bob says to tell Mark Buckets about our travel plans, ese.

Me and Silent Bob bought bus tickets from Jersey to Detroit. Silent Bob stole sugar from the Quick Stop so that me and him could put it into bags and sell it to people as cocaine.

Me and Silent Bob pulled in some mad Benjamins from sellin' them sugar baggies, yo. So we had enough dinero to buy bus tickets to Detroit.

And me and Silent Bob got on the bus in Jersey (shit dude, that's some funny shit I just said and I didn't even mean to say no funny shit. Me and Silent Bob have always been "on the bus" -- just like the Grateful Dead used to sing about, if you know what I mean. haha!). But they kicked us off the muthafu*#en Greyhound bus in Western Pennsylvania cause they caught me and Silent Bob smokin' a bowl in the bus' bathroom.

That's OK though, cause just before that, Silent Bob made the toilet overflow cuz he plugged it up with one of his giant Silent Bob Jedi mind trick turds. Silent Bob be droppin' bigger logs than Jabba the Hut.

Silent Bob:

Jay: No, Silent Bob. I won't shut up. YOU shut up, fat boy. Jay gotz to keep tellin' our peeps about our trip to Detroit, playa.

Silent Bob:

Jay: Anyhoo, me and Silent Bob got kicked off the the Greyhound for smokin' a bowl in the bathroom, dude.

So then we were stuck on the highway in Western Pennsylvania, yo. So we hitch hiked our way to Northeastern Ohio, brah. First, me and Silent Bob caught a ride on a van filled with the Calvary Baptist youth ministry. But we only stayed on the van for 10 minutes. They got pissed at me and Silent Bob for stinkin' up the van with our Funions farts. But they got really pissed when me and Silent Bob sparked up Silent Bob's dugout.

Those Jesus freaks need to lighten up, dude. They need to get laid. And their azzez wouldn't be so uptight if they'd smoke a bowl with Jay and Silent Bob. Infact, they'd prolly have a giant orgy in the church van if they did smoke out with us.

Them Calvary Baptist holy rollerz is too uptight, homie.

Anyways, the Calvary Baptists kicked our asses out at a rest stop in Western PA.

So me and Silent Bob was gunna a ride with a dude that we met in the rest stop bathroom. Yo, that shiznit was crazy, yo. Me and Silent Bob were standing in a stall, smoking a bowl. Then the dude in the next stall over saw our feet and started tapping his left foot. Me and Silent Bob started laughing cause this dude next to us was sittin' on the shitter and tapping his feet like he was Gregory Hines or some shit.

So then he slid his foot under our stall. Me and Silent Bob was gettin' so blazed that we just laughed. The guy heard us laughin', so he crawled under the divider and came into our stall.

That shit was f&%ed up, brah. This guy didn't have no pants on, but he did have one thing "on" .... a giant, throbbing *******.

That shit was hella fuc*ed up, yo.

But then the guy asked us if we wanted to "ride," and since me and Silent Bob wuz looking for a ride to Detroit, we looked at each other, conferred amongst ourselves, and then told the guy "sure."

But we found out that the guy in the rest stop bathroom stall wasn't offering us the same kind of "ride" that me and Silent Bob had in mind.

So me and Silent Bobbie ran out tha stall and went into the rest stop parking lot. That's where we found a truck that said that it was from Iron Mountain, Michigan on the side door. It was pulling a flat bed trailer with a huge ass tarp on top. And the driver was in the rest stop taking a piss.

So me and Silent Bob climbed under the tarp on that flat bed, kid. Once we were under the tarp, we could see that there were 8 giant container bins under the tarp. And after the truck started moving, we found out that the containers were filled with 259 Mexican and El Salvadoran illegal immigrants.

Holy shit, batman! Me and Silent Bob looked at each other and communicated telepathically with our Jedi mind fu** trickz. Bob said "Jay, all these illegal immigrants on this truck came here from Mexico ...... and Mexico is where weed comes from.

So me and Silent Bob tried to hook up a deal with the illegal aliens to get a pipeline into all that Mexican skunk, yo. But none of them illegial aliens could speak no english. And even though Silent Bob can use the Force and his Jedi mind tricks to speak spanish, he never actually, you know, speaks.

So, we ended up with no deal.

And when the truck stopped in Akron, the El Salvadorans kicked me and Silent Bob off the trailer because they didn't like our poor hygiene. They said we smelled too stinky. They said Jay and Silent Bob needs to wash our stanky azzez.

And it prolly didn't help that me and Silent Bob stank up everything under that tarp with our staaaanky Cool Ranch Doritos and Funions farts.

Silent Bob:

Jay: That's right. Silent Bob just said that we're gonna keep on hitch hikin' 'til we getz to Detroit. We ain't gonna miss them Kwame Kilpatrick parties for nuthin', baby bubba. We ain't gonna miss out on no orgies at the mayor's mansion, bro.

We're gonna rock that shit like Tony Iomi, or Dave Mustaine. We're gonna get all old school like we're Ronnie Dio or some shit. Yo, we're gonna rock harder than Drowning Pool or Dimebag Darrell in Pantera and Damage Plan, son.

Silent Bob:

Jay: Silent Bob sez that our asses is gonna be in Detroit no matter what. Right now, we're still in Ohio. But we'll find a way to get to D-town by tomorrow, brah.

Silent Bob:

Jay: Hell muthafukken yeah, son!

Just like Snoop sez: "We gone get higha than a muthafu##a tonite, be-otch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Butler Bob said...

Mr. Jay and Silent Bob:

You be needin to look up and findin them nearest steep el. You be needin some churchin sonny boy. You be needing to purify that cold heart of yurs. Come meet me in prayer chat www.christianchatrooms.com

Anonymous said...

Butler Bob, here's my suggestion for rekindling your love life when you go on your romantic getaway with Ethel.

Take her out ice fishin' early in the mornin. Make sure you bring some baked beans and bratwurst to cook over the fire for lunch. And -- this is the key -- bring plenty of Hamm's and Milwaukee's Best.

Nothing will get to a woman's heart faster than a good ol' dawn to dusk ice fishin' and beer drinkin' romantic getaway.

Ply her with beer and make sure you yodel sweet nothins' into her ear. The yodelin' -- not to mention the beer, the brats and the baked beans -- is such a powerful aphrodisiac that you'll have her goin' gaga in no time.

And if everything goes right, when you get her back to the Motel 6, she'll .... well, let's just say that things might be cold outside, but they're gunna be hot in that motel room!

This is what it's gonna look like when you get Ethel all hot and bothered and she "goes crazy" on you:

i111.photobucket.com/albums/n151/hagemangroup/FatButt.jpg

Butler Bob said...

Mr. Badger:

I appreciate your fine tips. It be challengin to be showin Ethel them lovin when she be angry runnin after me with them fryin pans.

Sonny boy, be you mistakn Ethel for Bertha Jenny. with them pics. You been over for that peacon pie? I be trying to win Ethel back not Bertha Jenny. Okay me be had a special night with Bertha Jenny when Ethel be havin them diearea long time ago. We agree that we not be wantin Ethel be hurtin. I did some churchin after that.

I be doin some yoddlin. Boooooooo Diggggggggettty I be like them Butler Bulldogs rippin down them nets when I be romancin Ethel. I be thinkin about them water beds. give motel 6 them water beds? I be thinkin about treatin Ethel to nice evenin at Long John Silver.

I be talkin with Kassie my online church chat friend. She be tellin me about Ashwaubenon. It be near Green Bay. They be havin an mall information desk I be needin to consalt.

anyone else be knowin information on Green Bay Wisconsin please be sharin with Butler Bob.

Anonymous said...

Butler Bob, I always knew that there was something wrong with you. But, Lord have Mercy, I didn't know how terribly wrong that wrong was.

I've been very busy and have not had much of an opportunity to read drive and dish lately -- what with puttin' in one 19 hour work day after another, helpin' my wife home school the kids, waitin' hand and foot on my wife/better half (O.K., I'll admit it -- I'm "whipped"), callin' in to conservative talk radio shows every day, workin' with the youth ministry, workin' with the adult outreach ministry, standin' outside Catholic churches on Sunday mornings and tryin' to convert all those Catholic heathens to the Christian faith, runnin' the church's soup kitchen, playin' the tambourine in my Michael W. Smith tribute/Christian Rock band, cuttin' & scratchin' it up on the 1's and 2's (or at least standing behind the turntables and pretending to cut and scratch ) as the DJ in our church's D.C. Talk tribute/Christian Rap group, and watchin' my NCAA Tournament bracket crumble like a pillar of salt (not that I wagered money on my bracket -- I'd never wager money because gambling is a sin, and it's against my religion to do so).

So, since I haven't been readin' drive and dish much lately, I had not seen your most recent comment til tonite.

But I just read the part about the "special night" that you had with Bertha Jenny when Ethel had those problems with her pluming.

Butler Bob, you are an agent of LUCIFER!!!!!!!

There's really no use in tryin' to minister to you any longer. You can not be saved. You are possessed by a demon.

An evil demon.

The only hope for you now is to undergo a full exorcism and to spend the rest of your days incarcerated as property of the Indiana Penal System (and to have your family jewels cut off when your ass is in hte state pen).

And after that, to

REPENT!

REPENT!!

REPENT!!!

REPENT!!!!

REPENT!!!!!

REPENT!!!!!!

REPENT!!!!!!!

Butler Bob said...

to mr. church dad:
sonny boy,

butler bob be livin and praisin them world them lord. you be makin a mockery off me and them church. you be needin to look in them mirror and be shame from ur action.

you never seen them steep el. you be lookin down and mockin me and them church. you dont be knowin what them church be.

you be a fool. you be like them fool programs be payin pros to act like them kids and win them student turnamints.